Celebrate Christ Recovery Forum: "The Synergy of Addiction Science and Scripture."
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics

  Author   Comment  

Avatar / Picture

Posts: 1,585
Reply with quote  #1 

When is it healthy to care?

There has been a lot of talk about codependence with a commonly held belief that it means overly caring about what people think.  Certainly overdoing anything can create problems. The general rule of thumb is that something becomes a problem when it begins interfering in any other areas of your life.

Human belonging is an essential need. Being too isolated, or subjected to solitary confinement, can be detrimental to our health and state of mind. Similarly, being too dependent on others presents problems. Sometimes people can be so attuned to what everyone else wants that they lose touch with their own thoughts, feelings and desires. In extreme cases, they cannot function without the other person because their identities are so intertwined with the other.

Sometimes people fear they are codependent when they are really expressing a healthy level of empathy and care for their loved ones. They falsely believe they shouldn’t care what other people think, when that’s just another extreme. Worrying what others think can be a valuable tool for feedback and is necessary for healthy relationship building. It helps people follow laws and treat others with dignity and respect. It provides a template for measuring values like humility and service. In the healing profession, it provides an essential measure for ethical treatment—will this cause anyone harm?

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/counseling-keys/201702/why-do-i-care-what-people-think


All hurts, habits and hangups serve an emotional purpose. All hurts, habits and hangups are behaviors used to regain control over an emotional state.
The author states, "Caring what people think is not a handicap and does not necessarily mean that you’re codependent or undifferentiated. The test is in the amount, so go back over the listed questions and see if your caring causes consequences in other areas of your life. Then go back do the Hippocratic Oath dictum of “Do no harm” and you’ll find your answer."

Christ Driven Behavior is a direct behavior that honors God, a way to regain control over helpless feelings. When we surrender to God, He empowers us with a mentor, that imparts motivation, purpose and the fruits of the Holy Spirit called values. Self-control is one of those values. Always ask does my behavior honor God? Does my behavior emulate the template that Jesus Christ left us? When we decide to choose the values and principles espoused by Jesus Christ, we find motivation, values such as self-control (Gal. 5:22-23)  and purpose. Christ Driven Behavior is empowering direct behavior, that comes with a built in mentor (John 14:16) the standard of perfection as established by God,  evidenced by Jesus Christ.

Change your thinking and let God change your life.

"I am a Surrendered Believer in Jesus Christ with Free Will and I CHOSE Surrender (Intelligent Delegation) in my victory over, “Recreational Chemical Abuse, my weekend, "False Idols."
"I chose DIRECT health assertive Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) instead of DISPLACED behavior in order to regain control over feeling helpless, powerless, trapped and lacking control. I changed my, "Thinking," and God changed my life."
Previous Topic | Next Topic

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

There is no reason why anyone with any hurt, habit, or hang up cannot be helped. The Person-God partnership simply needs to be more powerful than any hurt, habit or hangup.

Behind everything you do is a THOUGHT.

Every BEHAVIOR is motivated by a BELIEF.

Every ACTION is prompted by an ATTITUDE.


With respect to behavior, life is about, emotions, beliefs, thinking and control.

"A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."Proverbs 29:11 (Displaced Behaviors)

"Do not be conformed by this world but instead by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 (Direct Behavior)

When you think and empower yourself and surrender control to God, when you Intelligently Delegate Control to God (2 Corinthians 12:9-10),

God returns that control to you with a, “Helper," the Holy Spirit, (John 14:16) a form of Reciprocal Innervation.

You regain control: "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

No longer are you subject to corrupted displaced thinking but instead are transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

This is where science and scripture intertwine, where Christ Driven Behavior brings, values, control, cause, character and purpose driven behavior, the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5:22-23 .

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17.


Proverbs 29:11 "A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."

Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

2 Corinthians 12-9:“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

John 14:16: "He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—"

Philippians 2:13: "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

Galatians 5:22-23 "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Ephesians 4:22-23 "...put away the old person you used to be. Have nothing to do with your old sinful life. It was sinful because of being fooled into following bad desires. Let your minds and hearts be made new."

Life is about finding Purpose. When you have a, "Global Purpose," in life, healthy direct assertive thinking and behavior follow.

Change your thinking, change your life!

admin: chiro @ Earthlink.net