Lance Dodes, MD, Harvard Psychiatrist: "Addiction is all about seeking a remedy for overwhelming feelings of helplessness, and the exact form of an addiction, whether drinking or eating or watching online pornography, is no more than a focus for the addiction, not its cause. This is why people so often change the form of their addiction, moving from alcoholism to compulsive gambling to compulsive shopping, and on and on. Wouldn’t it be strange if people really were powerless over the focus of their addiction? When a person switched from alcoholism to compulsive gambling we’d have to say he was now powerless over something new. As the focus shifted there could be no end to the things he was powerless over – his powerlessness could spread like wildfire! (“I used to be powerless over just alcohol, but now peanut butter has me in its grip.”)"
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Do you ever wonder why you find victory over a hurt, habit or hangup only to find yourself dealing with yet another one? We are powerless over our tendency to do the wrong thing (sin) but we always have choice and personal responsibility. We can choose to empower ourselves! In that sense we are never powerless as long as we have free will.
Hurts, Habits and Hangups are nothing more than symptoms of something else that is wrong in our lives; they are symptoms, nothing more, nothing less.
Compulsive behavior, always serve an emotional purpose.
The purpose of compulsive behaviors often from a hurt, habit or hangup, is a behavior intended to reverse a profound, intolerable sense of helplessness. This helplessness is always rooted in something deeply important to the individual.
Addictions are nothing more than substitutes for doing something to deal more directly with these helpless feelings, the next step is to undo this substitution by taking a more direct action. Every addictive act is a substitute for a more direct behavior. This fact leads to one of the important parts of a modern treatment of addiction: If addicts can learn to address their rage at helplessness directly, then it manifests simply as an assertive act. When people act directly, there can be no addiction. Pay attention to key moment before the addictive act to determine what is overwhelming. If you can determine what is emotionally upsetting, you can predict it! Addictions don’t sit in isolation. The emotional things that set them off are the things that bother people in their lives in general. This is why we have multiple hurts, habits and hangs.
Jesus Christ understood this secular principle of control. When we choose to have a personal relationship with Christ, we give Christ control of our lives (Surrender) and Christ returns that control to us with a lifetime Helper that teaches us values such as kindness, patience, self control-the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It’s all there in scripture.
When you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you replace the rewards of displaced behaviors addictions with the rewards of direct Christ Driven Behavior (CDB). When you give God control, that control will be returned to you with the fruits of the spirit including self-control. We develop new values, motivation, purpose and character. Christ is a great motivational interviewer. Through prayer and scripture we recognize our emotional weakness, Reframe the pros and cons of our behavior and Replace the cons with new CDB behavior.
This is the marriage of science and scripture.
Proverbs 29:11: "A fool vents their feelings, a wise person holds them back." (Addictive behavior, all hurts, habits and hangups are a response to overwhelming feeling of helplessness, being trapped and out of control).
Romans 12:2: "Don't be conformed to this world but instead be transformed with new thinking." (We can respond to adversity with displaced behavior or direct healthy behavior, which is Christ Driven Behavior based on Christ’s values and tenets…)
2 Corinthians 12:9-10: “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (Surrender control to God, Intelligently Delegate control to Christ over life’s inevitable feelings of helplessness…..).
John 14:16: “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— (We regain control of our helpless trapped feelings with the Holy Spirit, this is Reciprocal Innervation-we give God Control-He returns the control with Christ like thinking and values). Also John 14:26: “The Holy Spirit … will be your teacher and will bring to your minds all that I have said to you.”
Galatians 5:22-23: “The fruits of the Spirit are self-control, love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness.” (Regain control of your life in a healthy way. If you have a choice, choose a better life, of health direct Christ Driven Behavior).
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. “ God specializes in making all thing new.