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Is Compulsive Sex Running Your Life?
By Grace Blodgett on October 28, 2015 in  Sex Addiction Expert Blogs

What should you do when the new friend you recently began to date tells you he is in recovery from sex addiction?

Before we begin, let’s call his illness compulsive sexuality, which I feel removes the negative connotation associated with the word addiction, identifies the origin of his problems, and reduces additional burdens."

Source: http://www.addiction.com/expert-blogs/is-compulsive-sex-running-your-life/
The function (purpose) of addiction (compulsive behavior) is to reverse a sense of overwhelming helplessness. Addiction always serves and emotional purpose. When circumstances in life make us feel helpless, hopeless, trapped and out of control, some folks attempt to regain control of their circumstance with mood altering drugs and yes even sex.  Taking the drug or engaging in sex, temporarily removes the trapped feeling because the abuser is doing something about it, they are regaining control of how they, "Feel."
With respect to regaining control over our emotions we always have two choices:
1. Displaced Behavior such as drugs or inappropriate sex (temporary regain of control).
2. Direct Behavior: We can regain control in a health manner with: Christ Driven Behavior, behavior that honors the values taught by Jesus Christ in Scripture. The best antidotes to addiction are joy, competence and connection—joy as the capacity to take pleasure in the people, things, and activities that are appropriately available to us; competence as the ability to master relevant parts of our environment and the confidence that our actions make a difference for ourselves and others. Connection is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, loving God and loving others.
The best (not only) method of regaining control is to surrender control to God. This statement is not a paradox when you understand strength under control. Only in surrender do we find new strength, new power, values, motivation and new thinking. Behavior that honors Christ is Christ Driven Behavior, Direct behavior, not substitute-Displaced behavior.
The bottom line in any hurt, habit or hangup is to regain control with Christ Driven behavior. When you have motivating values, you regain control of circumstances with those values, not the least of which is self control. Such fruits or values are what constitute character. Character is making the virtues of Christ a habit!
1. Don’t let your emotions dictate your behavior: Proverbs 29:11:  "A fool vents their feelings, a wise person holds them back." (Addictive behavior, all hurts, habits and hangups are a (displaced) emotional responses to overwhelming feelings of helplessness, hopeless, frustration, being trapped, powerless and out of control).
2. Change your thinking:  Romans 12:2:  "Don't be conformed to this world but instead be transformed with new thinking." (We can respond to adversity with displaced behavior or direct healthy behavior, which is Christ Driven Behavior based on Christ’s values and tenets…)
3. Surrender or Delegate Control to God (ID): 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:  “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (Surrender control to God, Intelligently Delegate control to Christ over life’s inevitable feelings of helplessness…..).
4. God returns the control through a Helper, the  Holy Spirit (RI) John 14:16:  “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— (We regain control of our helpless trapped feelings with the mentorship of the Holy Spirit, this is Reciprocal Innervation-we give God Control-He returns the control with Christ like thinking, values and purpose).
5. Demonstrate self-control the values of the Holy Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23:   “The fruits of the Spirit are self-control, love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness.” (Regain control of your life in a healthy way. If you have a choice, choose a better life, of healthy direct Christ Driven Behavior).
6. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. —2 Corinthians 5:17

"I am a Surrendered Believer in Jesus Christ with Free Will and I CHOSE Surrender (Intelligent Delegation) in my victory over, “Recreational Chemical Abuse, my weekend, "False Idols."
"I chose DIRECT health assertive Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) instead of DISPLACED behavior in order to regain control over feeling helpless, powerless, trapped and lacking control. I changed my, "Thinking," and God changed my life."
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There is no reason why anyone with any hurt, habit, or hang up cannot be helped. The Person-God partnership simply needs to be more powerful than any hurt, habit or hangup.

Behind everything you do is a THOUGHT.

Every BEHAVIOR is motivated by a BELIEF.

Every ACTION is prompted by an ATTITUDE.


With respect to behavior, life is about, emotions, beliefs, thinking and control.

"A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."Proverbs 29:11 (Displaced Behaviors)

"Do not be conformed by this world but instead by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 (Direct Behavior)

When you think and empower yourself and surrender control to God, when you Intelligently Delegate Control to God (2 Corinthians 12:9-10),

God returns that control to you with a, “Helper," the Holy Spirit, (John 14:16) a form of Reciprocal Innervation.

You regain control: "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

No longer are you subject to corrupted displaced thinking but instead are transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

This is where science and scripture intertwine, where Christ Driven Behavior brings, values, control, cause, character and purpose driven behavior, the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5:22-23 .


Proverbs 29:11 "A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."

Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

2 Corinthians 12-9:“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

John 14:16: "He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—"

Philippians 2:13: "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

Galatians 5:22-23 "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Ephesians 4:22-23 "...put away the old person you used to be. Have nothing to do with your old sinful life. It was sinful because of being fooled into following bad desires. Let your minds and hearts be made new."

Life is about finding Purpose. When you have a, "Global Purpose," in life, healthy direct assertive thinking and behavior follow.

Change your thinking, change your life!

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