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mywil

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Here is a good article that describes the root of people pleasing.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/parent-pleasing-people-pleasing-part-1-3

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From Parent-Pleasing to People-Pleasing (Part 1 of 3)


How craving others' approval can sabotage healthy self-development.

Published on July 21, 2008 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the Self

"People-pleasers are proficient at pleasing everyone . . . but themselves. They are master accommodators, intuiting what is wanted of them and--in both word and deed--bestowing on others the attentiveness and care they’ll typically deny themselves. So frequently do they defer to others’ preferences that at some point they’ll actually lose sight of their own."

"Regarding their value in life as based on their value to others, people-pleasers—so adept at nurturing those around them—literally don’t know how to nurture themselves. And because safeguarding relationships is the way they’ve learned to bolster their fragile egos, they’re unable to recognize that the ultimate cost of devoting themselves to the welfare of others is nothing less than sacrificing their own selfhood. Viewing their worth and personal security as totally hinging on pleasing or placating others, they end up forgetting who they are and what they themselves need to feel fulfilled."

Part 1: Read More: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/parent-pleasing-people-pleasing-part-1-3

Part 2: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/parent-pleasing-people-pleasing-part-2-3

Part 3: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/parent-pleasing-people-pleasing-the-journey-away-self-and-the-way-ba-1

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Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. "

Place your value in life on not pleasing others or yourself but in pleasing God. Easier said than done but here are 7 ways.


Have Faith in God.

“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6).

Spiritually Minded.

“For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (Romans 8:6-8).


Fear God.

“The LORD takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His mercy” (Psalm 147:11).


Study and Follow Jesus Christ's Example.

“This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!” (Matthew 17:5).

Obey God.

“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22).


Do God's Will.

“[May God] make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen” (Hebrews 13:21).


Give the Sacrifice God Wants.

“Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name. But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased” (Hebrews 13:15-16).


__________________
"I am a Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ with Free Will and I CHOSE Surrender (Intelligent Delegation) in my victory over, “Recreational Chemical Abuse, my weekend, "False Idols."
"I chose DIRECT health assertive Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) instead of DISPLACED behavior in order to regain control over feeling helpless, powerless, trapped and lacking control. I changed my, "Thinking," and God changed my life."
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There is no reason why anyone with any hurt, habit, or hang up cannot be helped. The Person-God partnership simply needs to be more powerful than any hurt, habit or hangup.

Behind everything you do is a THOUGHT.

Every BEHAVIOR is motivated by a BELIEF.

Every ACTION is prompted by an ATTITUDE.

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With respect to behavior, life is about, emotions, beliefs, thinking and control.

"A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."Proverbs 29:11 (Displaced Behaviors)

"Do not be conformed by this world but instead by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 (Direct Behavior)

When you think and empower yourself and surrender control to God, when you Intelligently Delegate Control to God (2 Corinthians 12:9-10),

God returns that control to you with a, “Helper," the Holy Spirit, (John 14:16) a form of Reciprocal Innervation.

You regain control: "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

No longer are you subject to corrupted displaced thinking but instead are transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

This is where science and scripture intertwine, where Christ Driven Behavior brings, values, control, cause, character and purpose driven behavior, the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5:22-23 .

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Proverbs 29:11 "A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."

Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

2 Corinthians 12-9:“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

John 14:16: "He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—"

Philippians 2:13: "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

Galatians 5:22-23 "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Ephesians 4:22-23 "...put away the old person you used to be. Have nothing to do with your old sinful life. It was sinful because of being fooled into following bad desires. Let your minds and hearts be made new."

Life is about finding Purpose. When you have a, "Global Purpose," in life, healthy direct assertive thinking and behavior follow.

Change your thinking, change your life!

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