Celebrate Christ Recovery Forum: "The Synergy of Addiction Science and Scripture."
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Attraction & Infidelity: Can 'Eye Candy' Always Be Resisted?

How come there isn't more infidelity, given the prevalence of 'eye candy'?

By Dr Raj Persaud and Professor Adrian Furnham

"When the Ashley Madison website, apparently promoting infidelity, was hacked revealing just how many people appear involved in relationship betrayal, the media appeared scandalized at the prevalence of infidelity - or at least the appetite for it."

"However psychologists have recently posed the opposite question - why is there in fact not more infidelity?"

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/slightly-blighty/201508/attraction-infidelity-can-eye-candy-always-be-resisted


Infidelity can be a compulsion. Addictions are really nothing more than compulsive behaviors, symptoms of something else that is wrong in a person's life. In humans, behavior is motivated by values. When you genuinely value something you pursue it. When you lack values, you lack purpose, character and conduct your life by how you want to feel.
Do you get your values from your feelings or the Bible? The choice is always yours.

The Bible is more than a book on Faith. It is a book on behavioral science.
Most addiction experts perceive that Science and Scripture are antithetical; this is a misconception. We need scientific explanation to understand nature. We need meaning to understand human behavior. We need God to know the answers to both. Jesus Christ taught His basic psychotherapy over 2000 years ago. He authored by proxy, 66 books on it. Read the Bible to be wise, believe it to be saved and practice it to be holy and healthy.

The function (purpose) of addiction is to reverse a sense of overwhelming helplessness. Addiction always serves and emotional purpose. When circumstances in life make us feel helpless, trapped and out of control, some folks attempt to regain control of their circumstance with mood altering drugs or yes cheating. Taking the drug temporarily removes the trapped feeling because the abuser is doing something about it, they are regaining control of how they, "Feel." Infidelity can be a drug for some as can be porn, anger, etc.  The treatment is to replace how we, "Feel," with the Values of the Bible. Regain control of your life with Christ Driven Behavior, behavior that honors the values promulgated by Jesus Christ as taught in Scripture. The best antidotes to addiction are joy, competence and connection—joy as the capacity to take pleasure in the people, things, and activities that are available to us; competence as the ability to master relevant parts of our environment and the confidence that our actions make a difference for ourselves and others. Connection is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, loving God and loving others.

Scripture says, hold your DISPLACED feelings in check (Proverbs 29:11) , don't be conformed to this world but be regain control of your circumstances with transformed new DIRECT thinking (Romans 12:2). Make Christ the Chief Operations Officer in your life by intelligently delegating or surrendering control to a more qualified person.  There is power in Intelligent Delegation or Surrender! (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
You remain the Chief Operations Office with free will and executive decisions, but now with a Helper (John 14:16) that will empower your new thinking with self-control, motivation, purpose and values (Galatians 5:22-23).

Change your thinking and change your life.

The process of Christian character building is one in which we move from self-centeredness (feelings) to God-centeredness (Matt. 16:25; Phil. 2:5-11).

Regain control of your hurts, habits and hangups by developing good character. Character is making the values of Christ a habit!

"I am a Surrendered Believer in Jesus Christ with Free Will and I CHOSE Surrender (Intelligent Delegation) in my victory over, “Recreational Chemical Abuse, my weekend, "False Idols."
"I chose DIRECT health assertive Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) instead of DISPLACED behavior in order to regain control over feeling helpless, powerless, trapped and lacking control. I changed my, "Thinking," and God changed my life."
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There is no reason why anyone with any hurt, habit, or hang up cannot be helped. The Person-God partnership simply needs to be more powerful than any hurt, habit or hangup.

Behind everything you do is a THOUGHT.

Every BEHAVIOR is motivated by a BELIEF.

Every ACTION is prompted by an ATTITUDE.


With respect to behavior, life is about, emotions, beliefs, thinking and control.

"A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."Proverbs 29:11 (Displaced Behaviors)

"Do not be conformed by this world but instead by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 (Direct Behavior)

When you think and empower yourself and surrender control to God, when you Intelligently Delegate Control to God (2 Corinthians 12:9-10),

God returns that control to you with a, “Helper," the Holy Spirit, (John 14:16) a form of Reciprocal Innervation.

You regain control: "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

No longer are you subject to corrupted displaced thinking but instead are transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

This is where science and scripture intertwine, where Christ Driven Behavior brings, values, control, cause, character and purpose driven behavior, the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5:22-23 .

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17.


Proverbs 29:11 "A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."

Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

2 Corinthians 12-9:“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

John 14:16: "He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—"

Philippians 2:13: "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

Galatians 5:22-23 "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Ephesians 4:22-23 "...put away the old person you used to be. Have nothing to do with your old sinful life. It was sinful because of being fooled into following bad desires. Let your minds and hearts be made new."

Life is about finding Purpose. When you have a, "Global Purpose," in life, healthy direct assertive thinking and behavior follow.

Change your thinking, change your life!

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