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Anger & Broken Relationships

The Problem
Anger is one of our ten (10) basic, God-given, emotions. This emotion can be CONSTRUCTIVE or DESTRUCTIVE – depending upon our response. The focus of this group is on giving Jesus a “NANO SECOND” (just one billionth of a second!) to help us use all of our emotions according to God’s design, for our lives, and to appropriately change our pattern of relating to others and our responsibilities.

When most of us think of an “angry” person we think of someone who destroys themselves and their relationships through uncontrollable outbursts of rage. We usually picture someone who goes around slamming doors, yelling loudly, and making life miserable for everyone, including themselves. Yet this is only one part of anger, as anger has many faces. Equally as damaging and destructive is anger that is suppressed, or “stuffed,” as it will only continue to destructively influence our behaviors and attitudes. Ultimately, even suppressed anger erupts from deep within the heart.

The Solution
Recognizing and accepting responsibility for toxic patterns of behavior is the first hurdle to overcome as one runs the race toward true freedom from anger. Walking through the recovery process with Jesus Christ as our Higher Power allows us to admit our powerlessness to control our anger, as well as trust that He will help us to overcome our destructive habits.

Breaking the old patterns that have kept us locked into destructive behavior takes time. What took years to bring about will take some time to change. But with Jesus Christ as our Higher Power, and the willingness to allow Him to change our life, real freedom from anger is possible!

The following inventory can help you in the recognition process as you seek to determine whether your anger is reaching a destructive level in your life.

I become impatient easily when things do not go according to my plans.
I tend to have critical thoughts toward others who don’t agree with my opinions.
When I am displeased with someone I may shut down any communication with them or withdraw entirely.
I get annoyed easily when friends and family do not appear sensitive to my needs.
I feel frustrated when I see someone else having an “easier” time than me.
Whenever I am responsible for planning an important event, I am preoccupied with how I must manage it.
When talking about a controversial topic, the tone of my voice is likely to become louder and more assertive.
I can accept a person who admits his or her mistakes, but I get irritated easily at those who refuse to admit their weaknesses.
I do not easily forget when someone “does me wrong.”
When someone confronts me with a misinformed opinion, I am thinking of my comeback even while they’re speaking.
I find myself becoming aggressive even while playing a game for fun.
I struggle emotionally with the things in life that “aren’t fair.”
Although I realize that it may not be right, I sometimes blame others for my problems.
More often than not I use sarcasm as a way of expressing humor.
I may act kindly toward others on the outside, yet feel bitter and frustrated on the inside.
If you if you see 4-8 applicable statements, your anger is probably more constant than you would like. If you see 9 or more , there is a strong possibility that you have struggled with periods of anger or rage, whether you are aware of it or not.

"I am a Surrendered Believer in Jesus Christ with Free Will and I CHOSE Surrender (Intelligent Delegation) in my victory over, “Recreational Chemical Abuse, my weekend, "False Idols."
"I chose DIRECT health assertive Christ Driven Behavior (CDB) instead of DISPLACED behavior in order to regain control over feeling helpless, powerless, trapped and lacking control. I changed my, "Thinking," and God changed my life."
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There is no reason why anyone with any hurt, habit, or hang up cannot be helped. The Person-God partnership simply needs to be more powerful than any hurt, habit or hangup.

Behind everything you do is a THOUGHT.

Every BEHAVIOR is motivated by a BELIEF.

Every ACTION is prompted by an ATTITUDE.


With respect to behavior, life is about, emotions, beliefs, thinking and control.

"A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."Proverbs 29:11 (Displaced Behaviors)

"Do not be conformed by this world but instead by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 (Direct Behavior)

When you think and empower yourself and surrender control to God, when you Intelligently Delegate Control to God (2 Corinthians 12:9-10),

God returns that control to you with a, “Helper," the Holy Spirit, (John 14:16) a form of Reciprocal Innervation.

You regain control: "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

No longer are you subject to corrupted displaced thinking but instead are transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

This is where science and scripture intertwine, where Christ Driven Behavior brings, values, control, cause, character and purpose driven behavior, the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5:22-23 .

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17.


Proverbs 29:11 "A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back."

Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

2 Corinthians 12-9:“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

John 14:16: "He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—"

Philippians 2:13: "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."

Galatians 5:22-23 "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Ephesians 4:22-23 "...put away the old person you used to be. Have nothing to do with your old sinful life. It was sinful because of being fooled into following bad desires. Let your minds and hearts be made new."

Life is about finding Purpose. When you have a, "Global Purpose," in life, healthy direct assertive thinking and behavior follow.

Change your thinking, change your life!

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